THE SCREW-UP CALCULATOR

Coming Soon.

Powered by artificial intelligence, fueled by your terrible decisions.

Look, we get it. You did something. Could have been something silly, but maybe it was bad. Maybe it was really bad. Maybe you're not even sure how bad it was, which…honestly is a sign that it's probably pretty bad.

That's exactly why we’re building this.

The Screw-Up Calculator is our damage assessment tool for men who need an honest, unbiased evaluation of how badly they've messed up — and more importantly, what they need to buy to fix it. No judgment. No lecture. Just a straight, somewhat wise-ass answer and a direct link to the flowers, gifts, or grand gestures that match the severity of your situation.

Tell it what you did. It'll tell you what you owe.

We're putting the finishing touches on the calculator now. Roger is personally road-testing it, which is going smoothly except for the part where he keeps generating Level 3 results for things he thought were Level 1 situations. We're calling that a feature, not a bug.

In the meantime, you’re gonna have to self-diagnose and get moving — because the longer you wait, the more expensive this gets. Click the link banner below to order something to apologize. Do it, now…