THE SCREW-UP CALCULATOR

Powered by artificial intelligence, fueled by your terrible decisions…we’re doomed.

Look, we get it. You did something. Could have been something silly, but maybe it was bad. Maybe it was really bad. Maybe you're not even sure how bad it was, which — honestly is a sign that it's probably pretty bad.

That's exactly why we built this.

The Screw-Up Calculator is our damage assessment tool for men who need an honest, unbiased evaluation of how badly they've messed up — and more importantly, what they need to buy to fix it. No judgment. No lecture. Just a straight, somewhat wise-ass answer and a direct link to the flowers, gifts, or grand gestures that match the severity of your situation.

Tell it what you did. It'll tell you what you owe.

Roger personally road-tested every question. It went smoothly except for the part where he kept generating Level 4 results. We're calling that a feature, not a bug.

Get started fixing things below.